Like the Cheers analogy, I tell people I live in Mayberry.

Nope, I have lived here 36 years and neighbors have moved many times and I barely know anyone anymore. Three of my town friends have died. But my cheese lady and bread person at my grocery store know my name and everyone at the library who works on Wednesday night.

Here's to you dedtired. Will you be having the usual?

I live in a suburb of DFW but am routinely back and forth between the big cities. I sometimes marvel that I'm passing by people that I will likely never lay eyes on again. (Does anyone else ever have those thoughts?) That said, I have an established routine and find it somewhat comforting that others do as well, and their routines coincide with mine. For instance, I often see the same commuters on the street day after day. Other than that, no - I'm not known by name when I pop into the various places of businesses I frequent.

Used to. Lived in a small town. A Kmart and 1 1/2 grocery stores and 2 pharmacy stores. Kids hated going to the grocery store with me. Complained I knew someone in every aisle. I was very active in schools and community. Even got written up in the paper as someone people would like to have lunch with! Quite a compliment. Of course, many called me after that and asked me where I was taking them to lunch, my treat! LOL!

30 years later we sold the house and moved away. 2 years after that old house went back up for sale and old neighbor called to tell me I could move back into “our house”!

i do miss that city, but it has grown up. No more small town. We are now in another small town and I have made lots of friends. So the cycle begins again!

Only been here 13 years.

It’s that way for me, too! Our home is located on the outskirts of a hundreds of years old village. Over the years, we’ve spread out significantly, becoming somewhat of a bedroom community for professionals working in the surrounding cities. But, my good friend who’s lived here all her life can easily trace her ancestors back to the Mexican farmers that the Conquistadors brought with them on their trek northward in 1598, searching for the fabled “Lost Cities of Gold”. They were encouraged to settle and farm this area, which they did. Despite its growth, this place and it’s people are still very welcoming. In our post office, grocery, bank, restaurants, etc. I very much enjoy the knowingness that comes from living here.

We lived in our previous town for 35 years and it was very much that way, especially when the kids were in school. I used to caution them when they rode their bikes to the 7/11 or the library that there was a Mom in a station wagon (this was before everyone had a Mini Van) on every corner who would call me if they saw them misbehaving.

Since I volunteered at the schools and the library and was active in local civic groups I knew lots of people in town. We moved there specifically for the school system and sense of community. I wanted my kids to play sports, and go to school and sit at the orthodontist's office with local kids. We moved from a large regional school system with 3 high schools in Bucks County, PA to a town with 1 high school, 1 middle school and 3 elementary schools. Our graduating classes were small at the time - around 200 students. One of the nicest things about this place is that so many young people return 'home' when they marry and start raising their own families.

I would say that in the last 10 years that we lived there the town
changed a good bit. The small town character was lost when several
farmers sold their properties for housing developments. They built very
expensive homes on large lots but I missed all the cornfields and soy
fields and orchards.

Last year we moved to a new town but it's only 8 miles from our former home. This is a significantly smaller town but I have been pleasantly surprised with the friendliness of the neighbors and the clerks in the post office and local supermarket.

Maire

My neighbors know my name, but that's about it. However, I find that people often remember meeting me, even if they do not know my name.

Everyone knew my family when I was growing up, as they had been on the same rural land since 1850, and then where I went to high school, I was well known, but I did not know the names of everyone in my high school. There were about 550 students in my class, and that's too many to know everyone. I went to a small private university (in a huge city - Houston) after high school, and there were about the same number of students in my freshman class there.

I grew up in a town like that. Every shopkeeper knew my mom, and she knew and used all their names too. She'd introduce me to everyone. I might have squirmed and cringed at the time, but now I can appreciate that she did.

I live in a town of about 150K and feel "known" by a couple of small communities: my street and my church. I feel recognized by the checkers at my supermarket, but they don't know my name. Nobody writes checks anymore, so why should they?

Kathyg, my son and I used to place bets to see how many people we would know in the grocery store. It averaged about seven, as I recall. Same with the town transfer station (dump), Byrne Dairy and any time I would walk my dog. But don't think I am complaining--not at all. I miss it.

We moved from a smallish town in B.c. to a much large town in Alberta. It still amazes us when we go back that everybody is related in some way to somebody else we know. I found it refreshing to leave when we did as my parent had just gotten divorced and we had other family issues and everybody in town knew all about it and of course the rumour mill gets elaborated as the story is passed on. No thanks. I like recognizing some people here now, but don’t need to have everybody know all my business.

Louise. Btw, this is my husbands tab as mine is on the charger.

Yes, we moved to a small town several years ago. We were "celebrities" since the home we purchased need a ton of work and everyone that walked by had a story related to the house. The house is almost finished, but we really enjoy the community and friendships the town offers.

" Maybe it's a southern thing, always a friendly greeting. "

I've never lived in the South but have traveled far and wide. My perception has been that it varies by location but I've many instances when the nature of the greeting depended on who the greeter was and who was being greeted. Who in a racial sense.

And I also got the sense that sometimes the gestures were perfunctory. Almost as if doing so was expected and not completely sincere. Said another way, it wasn't so much that the greeting was a friendly gesture as much as the opposite, failing to do so might have been considered to be rude.

I might have misjudged this but I don't think so.

I live in the south. You have misjudged this.

Yes. I too live in a Mayberry. DH and I graduated from high school in this small rural Missouri town, so most people know us and we know them. I joke that we don’t have to use turn signals because everyone knows where we are going by judging the time of day.

And yes, my neighbor called me when my kids were misbehaving. She told me who they were with, what they were doing, and where they were. I was ready when they walked in!

There is a fairly nice restaurant/bar in our town. We go every Tuesday evening for supper (they have a Tuesday special) and when we walk in everyone hollers out our names. Just like Cheers. It’s comforting.

Yes, Elmer, bless your heart, you have misjudged what southern hospitality is all about.

No one knows my name other than my friends and a few neighbors. However, when I visit my parents who still live in the town where I was raised, I often run into people who know my name because they know my parents.

We moved here just about three years ago. It's a township of about 20,000 that abuts one of Philadlephia's top neighborhoods, we're about 3 blocks from the city limits. But our little town has very little through-traffic, and the main business areas are mainly mom-and-pop places, so not a lot of draw for "outsiders", so to speak. And altho not everyone knows who we are by name, they recognize our faces. I swear I've never lived in a friendlier place in my life. Most of out neighbors are not only long time residents, but grew up close by. Our contractor now lives a few townships over, but he grew up here, and still is buddies with the next two neighbors over that he went to high school with, our attorney has a small satellite office here, he lives 5 blocks from where he grew up. It's a small town, complete with kiddie parades on the 4th of July, and fireworks at every excuse at the country club.

I just amazes me that we landed here in Beaver-Cleaver-ville.

Well. Raye, bless your heart, I've had enough curiosity driven conversations with locals of all types in enough different Southern locations that I'm pretty confident with what I said. I understated my view above to be polite but it is what it is. Maybe practices are so familiar and ingrained for you that you can't see it dispassionately.

Living in a small town, I know lots of people by name and more than that by face. Much of this recognation happens at the businesses I frequent often - the grocery store, the pharmacy, the bank, restaurants/bars, farmers market, etc. Of course, there are also the many, many people I met during the years I worked at an elementary school. Even though this is a small town, there are lots of people I don't know as well. There are also businesses I rarely or never frequent and I probably wouldn't know any of the people who work at those businesses unless one of them happened to be a former student or a parent from my school days.

I like the familiarity and friendliness of small town living, but also prefer to keep my personal business private. My doctor, CPA and attorney all live and work outside of the area where I live so there is no overlap or blurred line between the personal and business relationships.

I've always lived in large suburban areas so no, have never known the people at the post office, dry cleaners, grocery store nor they me. And once original owners in the neighborhood moved away, never even knew the names of the new neighbors. Sad really. Always wondered what it would be like to live in a small town "where everyone knows your name."

We live in a small rural community that doesn’t have much in the way of restaurants, etc but we are recognized at the places we frequent here such as the gas station (have to go in to pay where we buy our gas) and a small deli/restaurant/gathering place where the owner knows just about everyone and feeds the needy at Thanksgiving.

When we go into town, there are a few places we go frequently where we are recognized often....our favorite Thai restaurant, my fave wine store/wine bar, pharmacy at the grocery store where we know the pharmacist and a few other places.

Elmer - you can't accept that people can greet and be polite to each other simply because they enjoy doing so. And you can't accept that southern hospitality is just that - hospitality. That's your loss, and it sounds like a negative world that you live in.

I grew up on a farm, the closest 'town' was about 5 miles away, the closest city was over 20 miles away. But all the surrounding farm families and people in town knew each other by name. Since then I've lived in big cities twice, and absolutely hated it!

We moved to this south Texas town (population under 30,000) in 1969, and have lived in this same house since 1988. Husband and I were quite active in local politics and other community activities, and we owned our own small business which involved working with law enforcement agencies. So yes, 'everyone' knew our names. Not so much anymore. Due to husband's ever worsening Alzheimer's Disease, we retired and sold the business 10 or so years ago. Since he passed away 7 years ago, I've become sort of a hermit, I'm no longer active in all the community goings-on that I used to be part of. It's just too hard for me to get around very well. Most of the homes close to mine have changed ownership (some several times) in the past few years, so I have only a nodding acquaintance with most of my neighbors now. And also most of the employees in businesses I frequent have also changed over the years. So being greeted by name does not happen as often as it used to. And I miss that!

Rusty

Lol, my bff and I were just talking about this. We both worked at the local schools so know or are known by a lot of people. To the point that we both drive past the closest grocery store and go about 15 minutes north to shop at another store. Otherwise we are stuck constantly saying hello to parents or former students, etc.

Ida, I so agree. Certain people can get so tiresome. Sigh.

I totally agree, Ida!

Raye, here's an example of southern friendliness and hospitality. BIrmingham has a majority black/African-American population. Many are at a lower socio-economic level from whites in the general area, most of whom live in the suburbs. In 2016, the city of Birmingham passed a measure raising the minimum wage (in the city) from something like $7 per hour to around $10 per hour, still a modest level. Wages for minimum wage jobs, those often filled by the majority black population. The (white and Republican controlled) state legislature responded very quickly by enacting a law prohibiting municipalities from enacting minimum wage laws. The issue is still being litigated.

If this isn't overtly racist conduct, I'm not sure what is but I'm open to an different explanation of this outrageous act. It's stuff like this that frames my experiences and repeated conversations with locals about "southern hospitality", not a smiling person in a retail business greeting me with perfunctory and insincere politeness.

Thanks, Ida. Amazing how things can go off the rails sometimes.

Where’s the DISlike button?

I have lived in our town ( (pop. 4,000) for 68 years. I worked in a neighboring small town for 33 years, and have attended church in yet another small neighboring town for 33 years. Yes, I know a lot of people, and I am often greeted by name. It is wonderful.

We have a second home in a suburb of a city. We come here about two weekends a month. I am surprised by the number of friendly people that we have gotten to know.

Elmer - your post has absolutely NOTHING to do with any other post here. There is no correlation between a friendly hello and wage/ethnicity.

Your post is about as insincere as it gets. Please stop posting, you just want to rant against southerners letting your prejudices show.

Ded, I miss that! Read the shack is closing. So sad. I remember getting mail back in the 70s from a friend in France that had my name and the name of the town-no street address, but it never occurred to me that the post office wouldn't know where to deliver it! I wasn't the least bit surprised. When I was home, I would often see old friends (one from elementary school) in the grocery store or in the parking lot. Always fun. The pharmacy always watched out for my parents as they started to go down hill. I think it is a wonderful place to live, but I wish so many changes weren't taking place now.

Oh, and this is a friendly northern spot!

ETA: Also, it is a unique area-it always felt friendly and yet did not have the same "gossipy" issues as many small towns (lived in a couple of small southern towns after college).

Yes, it is unique here. It is very suburban yet there is a center of town, so people know each other. We are 12 miles from City Hall, too, so near a big city.

Cyn, the shack is now a jewelry store. The business relocated to where Rae's beauty shop used to be but it is now closing due to landlord dispute. Our grocery store is closed, too, so there is a big empty building at the moment. I think another smaller grocer will be moving in. Nothing stays the same forever!

Elmer, several "locals" here have corrected your incorrect assertions about the south numerous times before,in different posts. It's clear that you simply pick and choose which "locals" you wish to believe in order to reaffirm whatever you already believe about the region and its residents.

What you described is a slight against an economic class,not a race. Given the amount of rundown,mostly white occupied trailer parks I pass on my way home, i think its safe to say that black people are not the only ones affected by poverty. Alabama has always bristled against the federal government telling the state what to do.

Birmingham is a hole. Its ridden with crime. Its leaders,by the way, from the mayor to the city council to the police chief, are all black and have been for quite a while. They are doing many things to improve the area, including bringing large businesses that will employ many people. Amazon is building a distribution center in bessemer, which will employ 1500 people. There were no KKK rallies to prevent it. The fact is, racial tensions are an country-wide problem. They are not unique to or more prevalent in the south. Thats a stereotype. Yes,even perfect,precious California has it.

Back to the issue, many people call me "miss amy." All races,ages,and genders. It's simply a way of addressing someone. I address the lady truck drivers as "miss first name." Its a habit, not an insult or an obligation. It's not considered rude NOT to address someone like that either. It's like an endearment, like hon or darlin. It's not a term of respect, like ma'am or sir.

I'm in a DFW 'burb and I find it to be quite a change from my previous NY state experience.

There, folks were genuinely friendly and caring. I, too, could write a letter with a name and town...it would get delivered. When we moved there, people knocked on my door and invited me for coffee.

Here....nope. It's a rather superficial friendliness. People tend to put you in a category of whether you're worthy of being known by them (what kind of car you drive and what your "husband"--not you--does, were the first questions asked of me here)...I guess I don't rate, as those are questions I don't see the need to answer. I DO know people who are genuine here---but not in my immediate area. To find those who don't give a damn what your socio-economic status is, is difficult, it seems. And I no longer have the energy to search.

" Alabama has always bristled against the federal government telling the state what to do. "

As far as ending Jim Crow laws and segregation, yes. But this incident doesn't involve the federal government at all. If the state thinks it has the right to push back against outside interference by a higher level of government, why is it committing the same meddling you say it bristles against by coming down on Birmingham?

" What you described is a slight against an economic class,not a race. "

The elected Birmingham city government, whose lawful action was usurped, is an economic class? With something over 70 percent of the city population being black and of lower economic status, to say this action of a white state legislature isn't racially motivated is very naive.

" Its leaders,by the way, from the mayor to the city council to the police chief, are all black "

Is this relevant in any way? I wouldn't think so.

Sigh....

I think I'll go outside and talk to the brick wall. It would be more productive.

I realized today that there are a few more places where I'm known by name plus other info about me. At my hairdresser's - not just him, but many of the other hairdressers as well. At my Audi dealership - they're wonderful! At the dry cleaners. At my doctor's offices. At my dentist. At my church. I used to be at my pharmacy - 2 people retired when Walgreens bought out the RiteAid pharmacies. Now, it's awful. My alteration lady. A jeweler I've used for many years.

I'm sure there are more. My state is "southern" enough that people do speak. It's quite different from my years in Maine - took about 8 years before people would speak. Nice people, just a bit reticent.

In my former village, I would sometimes get mail addressed to someone with the same last name as me. Not only did I know the other same-last-name person, but on at least one occasion, I recognized the writing of the sender.

Small town indeed!

Around 1982 (when I lived in San Francisco), I went to Austin TX to visit my sister and happened to do a bit of shopping at a mall there. It was extremely rare for me to find anything in Texas that I would want to buy, but I did find a shirt I liked and was paying for it by check - and of course my checks were from California. When the checkout person asked me for my ID (for the check) and saw that I had a California drivers' license, she said to me, "We don't get many foreigners here." That's what Austin was like in 1982, but still a lot of people in Texas consider anyone who is not from Texas to be a foreigner. Little did the checkout person know that I was a fifth generation Texan, but of course I did not have the proper accent, having lived out of state for so many years.

I have only been back to Texas once since my parents died in 2012 and have no plans for future visits there. It would be different if my relatives there showed respect for me. Kevin and I invite one niece (plus her husband) to visit us here, but I have told my sister that if she wants to visit us here again, she must leave her husband behind, as he is extremely disrespectful and rude to me. My sister in law wants to visit us, but I have not extended any invitation to her, and I know that our cowboy brother would hate it here. One of my cowboy brother's friends accused me of making a pass at him in the small town (population 1000) close to where my parents live and even told my father about this. This friend of my brother's was a very (to me) repulsive person, and when my father confronted me about this accusation, I asked him when this was supposed to have happened. He told me it was a Saturday night (specific date), and I told my father that I happened to be with him at my late grandparents' house 160 miles away on that date. Since my father then became my alibi, he turned against my brother's friend, but not before I made him aware that the accusation had to be fabricated. My father (believing he was half French, since his mother's maiden name was Jacques), believed in the Napoleonic code; i.e. guilty until proven innocent. This kind of incident has a large effect on how I feel about small towns - at least small towns in Texas and Louisiana. Just because people know your name does not mean that they like you or respect you.

Elmer - give it up, no one is reading your posts.

I comment to share my views and experiences. You and everyone/anyone else are welcome to pass them by. For me, the particular comments I've made in this thread come from experiences I've had leading to what's sometimes referred to as the Elephant Test or the Duck Test.

Edit to add:

In today's news, another proposed measure by a Republican legislative majority in a Southern state to counteract a ballot measure recently approved by voters. Also no racial motive? Yeah, right

Voting rights granted, then withheld ?

I am reading Elmer's posts, and I think he has a point to make, but Birmingham is not a small town. Personally, I think small towns can be worse than cities when it comes to discrimination and hate, but it is more dependent on the region/state. Some parts of the country can be friendly and backward at the same time.

The voting rights in question belong to criminals. No race is mentioned. The fact that you think that when criminals are brought up, it refers to a certain race speaks to your character. Shame on you.

I hardly think that talking to a few people and travelling through a certain area gives you the experience or authority to comment on the values and social climate of the south more so than the people on these forums who have lived here all their lives.

BTW, my SO, who is a 51 yo black man, told me to tell you that you're an idiot,that poverty is NOT exclusive to or a defining character of blacks, and that neither is a criminal record. Both are results of choice,not race. The loss of voting rights for certain crimes is applied to all races,as are the paths to restore them. Also, he is an American,not an African American. If you want to use that term, do so for citizens that were born in Africa, like Charlize Theron.

Be better informed, amy. According to the 2010 Census, Blacks are 16% of the population of Florida but 46 % of the prison population. So call it half of the former inmates denied voting rights are Black. In most states, voting rights are restored after a felony sentence is completed, but not in Florida. If you think there's not a racial component to the motivation by the Republicans, you're naive.

Your SO is correct about poverty, of course, It was relevant to demonstrate how the action in Alabama and BIrmingham had an obvious racial component.

Many of ultimately African ancestry prefer one term, others another. Just as some prefer Hispanic, others Chicano, others other words. It's of no significance to what I said which I used or why.

Back to the brick wall.....

Keep you eyes and mind open, you 'll pick up more than from any wall

Hi pot. I'm kettle. (You can call me Miss Kettle, but only if you want)