If you SERIOUSLY cannot spare a few tomatoes or an onion just say, "oh, I'm sorry but a ____________ casserole requires its presence!".

BTW, how friendly are you with these neighbors?

I can tell you from experience that once one of ~those~ neighbors finds you, the requests are only going to get more burdensome and more frequent. Unless you're okay with that, best to set the boundaries now.

DH and I live in an apartment building(6 units). I'm the only one that gardens. The neighbors have never asked for produce, but they are always appreciative if I have enough to share. I'm always floored at these posts about pushy neighbors.
I would simply tell your neighbors, "I'm sorry, but I only grow enough for my family. Let me know next spring if you would like me to start a few extra plants for you."

That's awkward! Tell them to grow their own LOL!

Wow.. I can't believe they'd be that pushy either. At the most I get requests for seeds, information about the weird veggies I grow, etc.. but I usually happily encourage them to take what they can use to prevent waste.

Just tell them you only have enough for YOUR family and that's it. Tell them how they can grow THEIR OWN though! Maybe give them some lessons. If they're too lazy to do it, oh well. It's their loss!

Give a man fish, food for a day...
Teach him.....

You get the point....

Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for an evening.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I'd make sure I went to "borrow" a cup of sugar (or milk, or eggs, etc.) as often as they asked for produce. Just b/c you didn't buy it in a store doesn't mean it's not worth something!

I started a farm business last year, after years of gardening and giving things away to family and neighbors. I still occasionally do give things away (like if they don't sell at market, or at my stand the next day) or trade with someone growing something different. I gave lots of tomato starts away this year and will give strawberry plants away too after I get to straightening out all the runners.

DH has never brought stuff into work to give away, he has 2 coworkers who have ordered items from me (we're thinking of starting a CSA), about $10/week worth each, he had one person come up to him saying "I hear you grow lots of stuff - I'll take anything extra you have!" Forget about my business, how do you think the people (who DH has worked closely with for 5 yrs) who paid for harvested-to-order fresh organic veggies feel?? DH just told him that I was selling at market and didn't have anything extra, but if he was interested in knowing what was available each week he could email me and put in an order since I fill orders first and take the rest to market.

Aside from lettuce and other greens, I can't think of anything "extra" that I could send in - if the zukes get too big, we grill them or shred and freeze them for bread. Catfaced tomatoes are eaten, given to family, or cut up and canned. Scabby potatoes are saved for our own dinner (during the summer, we make lots of vegetarian meals). Other stuff gets canned, given to family, fed to the chickens, or made into compost if we can't eat it right away.

Though maybe I *should* send in some scabby potatoes that were gnawed on (just a little!) by some critter...

How about, "Oh, I just sprayed those, I'm afraid they wouldn't be safe to eat."

You could barter, asking what they have to trade you. The upside to someone asking is you know you are giving it to people who will use it. Gave my mom some squash once, about a week later I saw it thrown outside where she throws unused produced for the bunnies. Won't make that mistake again.

OP - that is some neighbors you have. I would give them - if you can - one or two items, and as you hand it to them say, "I can explain you how to grow them - so you can do this next season, if you want to grow your own."

When I was able to grow anything and we had extras, I would just put all extras in a basket or bag and call couple neighbors to offer. I begged them to come and clip fresh herbs anytime -- just to help me keep the plants healthy. They were not taking anything! Or I would take extras to work - first come, first take basis.

Of course I could spare a couple veg but am nervous it is just the beginning of requests. Actually thought of a good line "they are not ready" Who can argue?

I love sharing what I grow, but would never expect neighbors to actually ask, and they don't. Actually if they see me at the door with a zucchini, they might draw the drapes and not answer!

But if I were growing a large garden for farmers' market or whatever, I would expect people to pay.

Edymnion--funny funny!

Well, you could always nip it in the bud.

Give them all the tomatoes they can carry, after you inject each one with a few drops of ipecac...

A couple here and a couple there can add up in a hurry. You garden to feed your family...they can do the same. Nip it in the bud now or you'll be labeled a pushover and they'll hit you up for the rest of this season, and seasons to come.
If they get upset, they're not good neighbors(already questionable)and you won't be any worse for wear without them.

It's kind of rude of them to ask. If you wanted to give some away, you probably would have already made them a basket. I only ask about people's fruit trees. Even then, I make sure to only ask people who I notice let the fruit fall and rot. I basically know they don't eat it and won't care if I ask and take some.

I agree with the people that say to be strong, firm and set boundaries. The only people I mostly say yes to are, well, children b/c they are cute:-)

"they are not ready"

That;s good. And, of course, when they are ready they will be picked and go straight to your kitchen.

If you sometimes have a true surplus of something, it would be nice to take your neighbors some as a sign of good will.

Jim

I would say you didnt have any extra now but if you do you will sit some out at the street/mailbox.

I agree I think it's rude of them. I'm curious what kind of relationship you have with these people for them to act that boldly? (have you given them anything before? have they given you anything? etc?)

I would be honest and polite. I'd say that you really only grow enough for your family (because you store the extra and use it in other seasons, or whatever the case is.) I'd add that if you do have extras at some point, you will bring them over.

I think that closes the door on them asking in the future, without being rude about it in return.

Here is a solution: I'll send you some walking onion top sets, you'll plant them, and next year when they ask for onions you'll give them the basal bulb of a walking onion. Also grow a paste tomato and give them those when they ask for tomatoes.

Chances are they won't bother you again.

At least they asked first the last place I lived had a lot of children who would take the small tomatoes off my plant and I never had a tomato grow big enough to eat ugh!When I was little when ever I saw a garden I would always ask about it but never ask for anything in it I would accept if it was offered

Oh come on; hold on a second. These are our neighbors. Perhaps we have already borrowed something or some assistanace from them. If we haven't, or haven't even really met them; now we have; and we can feel comfortable asking them for help when the rototiller fails in the middle of the garden and we need help to drag it out or whatever. Whatever covers a lot of territory that could be useful now or in the future. Cup of sugar, cup of kindness, couple of baby sitters...

The polite way to do this is praise the crop and exclaim how delicious it looks. Then the polite gardener has to offer some in return for the admiration. To come right out and ask is just crude.

How annoying. I'm unfortunately surrounded by neighbors who are more pushy than you could ever believe....more rude, and have absolutely no concept of boundaries (or the law)...but that's are another story. Best thing to do is to make things clear up front (politely, of course), and then avoid whenever possible! You could also tell then that you...or maybe your son...is a vegetarian, so you need all the produce you can get. Good luck!

I think this goes to show how disconnected our communities have become. We used to know each other, and share with one another. We've become so wrapped up with our social media and global connectivity, that we've neglected our local connections. Neighbors should be comfortable asking for help once in a while, and should be receptive of the same being asked in return. Sure, you're not going to like every neighbor you will ever have, there will always be a sore thumb here and there. Personally, I like it when my neighbors ask for something from my garden. It shows me they respect it and appreciate what I am doing. I don't find it rude in the least, and I don't feel I need a compliment prior to them asking, the very act of them asking is a compliment in my opinion. Why else would they ask for it if they did not want it and appreciate it.

I also have no issue saying no if there is a situation where I don't have enough of something, or I am saving something special for myself. Any respectable neighbor would understand that. If they take offense to being told no, then once you tell them no once, you will likely never encounter a situation like that again with that person.

Feeling guilty when saying no is a personal issue, and something that you need to work on if you have difficulty with doing it. If these neighbors truly are a nuisance and you don't want to share with them, that's fine. You just need to tell them no, no need to passively address the issue and make up excuses. Just say, no I'm sorry but I have a limited supply and do not have enough to share.

Nicely said, howelbama :)

I agree with Howl.
Fortunately, I live on a driveway with 4 gardening households.
We kind of check with each other what is being grown (especially trees and bushes/vines!)
The front neighbor has the largest garden and also has pears and apples. The next neighbor has apples (a small tree) and blackberries and a small vege garden. We have a garden with the most variety and usually the largest production.
I frequently go down the driveway with bags of stuff that the others don't grow and they bring us theirs!
Oh yeah, the last house doesn't have a garden in her yard, but I helped her do a garden at a Kaiser hospital that she draws from. She also makes the pear butter from the other neighbor's tree!
We often will leave a box of produce out by the street for neighbors to take. I had a mystery squash that was VERY prolific one year and found that a very poor family was VERY grateful to get these, and kind of lurked around waiting for me to put them out. I ended up finding out where she lived and started leaving them in her driveway!
For the moocher.....Sorry, I only have enough for the family right now and keep saying that! Good luck! Nancy

Once you've sliced into a juicy fresh onion, those monsters at the store just can't compare. I agree that your neighbors are pushy, but I can understand where they are coming from.

I have had to say no to family once or twice, because I'm careful to grow just the right amounts for our needs. When I do have excess, I give it away to anyone. I have freecycled fruits for canning several times, but recently came to know a family with five kids, so I can just drop bags of fruit by their house.

Generousity fees good, but self sufficiency comes first.

Well, the OP obviously has a problem with this neighbor. Not that (s)he doesn't know them. And I didn't hear anything about them offering anything in return. I don't think she needs a babysitter LOL - sounds like her son's big enough to leave home alone ;-)

I think there is nothing wrong with sharing when you have extra. to not have extra is the problem I would only feel bad if I knew the family really didn't have the money to go out and buy the produce. next year I am going to grow more stuff so that I can help others out.

My husband and I aren't comfortable asking others for things...If I didn't have an ingredient on-hand, I would either go to the store or make something else. Same with DH, he would go buy the tool rather than ask to borrow. Not the same with neighbours over the years, they have asked us plenty and for the most part, we don't mind.

My neighbourhood has really changed over the past five years. Both sets of neighbours have moved away to be replaced with others who are very inclusive. It's sad, but I don't talk to either side anymore. I used to go out into my garden and end up chatting for an hour with my former neighbour! These new ones go inside when I go outside. I could never imagine giving anything to them even if I did have extras. It doesn't help that the one neighbour doesn't keep up their yard, so I'm left to deal with their rotten weeds in mine!

To address the OP, simply say you don't have enough to share at the moment, and repeat as much as necessary. Hopefully they respect that and not try to execute a midnight raid on your garden.